Dad is a serial rapist

-Dad?
-Yes, Billy?
-Everyone at school is saying things about you.
-Who is everyone?
-Like, kids, you know. Everyone.
-What are they saying?
-That you're a serial rapist. And a pervert.
-You mean, like what they painted on the house?
-Dad, did you, um... uh... with... Johnny Grasso and Ronald Farber?
-Yes.
-What did you do?
-I touched them.
-What do you mean, exactly, touched?
-I fondled them.
-What for?
-I couldn't help myself.
-What else?
-I... I unzipped myself.
-You... you mean, masturbated?
-No.
-Then what?
-I... made love.
-What do you mean?
-I fucked them.
-What was it like?
-It was... it was great.
-Would you do it again?
-Yes.
-Would... would you ever... fuck me?
-No. I'd jerk off instead.

Happines, Todd Solondz.